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Wish I would have read this years ago…again, it probably would have fallen on just as deaf of ears as my Exs were when I was trying to tell him he drank too much, and how it was killing me. Recovering alcoholics – this article doesn't apply to you.
I realized over the years I had become less of myself. When someone doesn’t fit into the perceived notion of what an addict is, it’s hard for people to know what to say. There is nobody that tries harder at being “normal” than an alcoholic and his/her family.
We don't wake up every morning and choose to stay with cancer.
Obviously both are destructive, and often abusive, and sadly, about 1 degree of separation from each other.
And when you are with an alcoholic, you are used to suffering in silence as the martyr, wondering why the alcoholic does what s/he does. This included that he did not go to my grandfather’s funeral, he did not come home all night long, and he brought cocaine into our home.
After four and half pages of undeniable facts, I realized that there was no longer any question of whether or not I could stay with him. When you live with an addict, you are never quite certain about reality. By writing down the facts as they happened, he could not come back to me later with his own version of the truth.